TROUBLE AT THE YOUTH CLUB

If we understand the details correctly, Richard Ashcroft only wanted to help the young people.

Unfortunately, he did it by crashing drunk into a Chippenham youth club offering his assistance. While looking "like a tramp."

Police were called, and an £80 on-the-spot fine was issued - sadly, there's no record of if this involved a Blair-pleasing march to the local cashpoint.

Won't someone, though, think of the children:

“He was very strung out and close to tears at one point. He kept saying he wanted to work with kids, that he wanted to do ‘good things’.

“He wasn’t aggressive, in fact he was quite charming and friendly. He kept hugging some staff and kids.

“But when the police arrived he was almost begging to be arrested. They told him to go quietly but he wouldn’t.”

The local twelve year-olds have been warned that it's illegal for them to buy cider for Richard; the local women's institute have doubled their guard.

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