GIRLS AQUIETEN

Would anyone think that super-showbiz-know-everything-bot from the future Rav Singh out the News of the World actually knows Girls Aloud are about to split, or, like the rest of us, he just thinks with Cheryl Tweedy parading around with Victoria Beckham and issuing "exciting baby news" bulletins to the glossys that it's only a matter of time?

Of course he knows for sure - he's spoken to a "source close to the band":

"They just don't talk at all — it's over for them. There's always been a rift in the band.

"Nadine and Cheryl don't talk, there is no communication. There's also a rift between Sarah and the others."

What we love best about this is the suggestion that the band needs to be able to talk to each other to churn out records - it's a little bit like saying the future of Cadburys Mini Rolls is in doubt because Mona and Helen on the production line have stopped talking after Mona crticised Helen's last bleach job.

music girls aloud cheryl tweedy nadine coyle