THE HIT SQUADDIES

Singing soldiers - not really a great tradition, is it? There was, of course, Robson and Jerome, whose musical crimes started as a spin-off from Soldier, Soldier; Elvis giving up music to go into the army, where he learned the values of self-restraint and a healthy diet; the Battle Hymn of Lt. Calley, which was effectively an apologia for genocide available on a seven-inch single. The Band of the Ark Royal seemed to be regulars in the album charts a couple of decades back. But that's been more-or-less it.

Now, though, Southport is holding what might be the first military music talent show ever held outside of a NAAFI. The winner, we understand, gets to appear in something called Soapstars on Parade.

It doesn't say which military outfits are allowed to enter - we suspect, though, that any entries from certain unofficial Irish outfits might be in breach of the Good Friday Agreement.

music army