J ON SCREEN

If they do decide to can Lindsay Lohan, they could find a replacement LL to take her part. CBS have just thrown a large pile of cash at LL Cool J to "develop" stuff, on the grounds that he was quite good in House one time.

This is kind of like shovelling sackloads of cash in the direction of whoever it is turning up doing the semi-famous cameo in The Bill this week, an idea so stupid we're expecting Charles Allen to be floating it down ITV HQ within the next couple of weeks.

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