Sunday, July 16, 2006

MADONNA WON'T GO SOUTH OF THE EQUATOR THIS TIME OF NIGHT

We hear the real reason for Madonna pulling her Australian tour is because she's realised that she'd be coming a poor second to the women from the Sheila's Wheels advert. Even though they're not a real band, and actually consist of three ladies from Clacton whose Australian accents reflect a long time watching The Young Doctors while waiting for a call from their agents.

Her given reason, though, is a little weak:

"Please forgive me. Unfortunately, the logistics just didn't work out this time around. You remain in my heart."

So, there you have it - it's just too difficult to work around and book the anti-kangaroo jabs and everything. But don't worry, Australians - we're sure she'll send you a bill for £100 just for being in heart.


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