OH, MY SISTERS

While we're considering this morning's Sun, does it really believe Jake Shears from the Scissor Sisters really was seriously considering suicide when he came off the band's tour?

Because if so, isn't the headline I wanted to Jake it all in a little bit insensitive?

Mind you, we're not entirely sure that Shears means he literally was going to drown himself:

“Getting off the road was the most miserable thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.

“I’ve never felt so low. I was ready to go walk over to the Hudson and float away. It was more than a comedown. It was like shooting a torpedo into the ground.”

Now, that sounds like a metaphorical expression of a feeling to us, but the paper is on the phone to The Samaritans:

Despite becoming one of the most loved performers in music Jake returned to New York on the brink of throwing himself in the city’s Hudson River.

There's a difference between "I could have" and "I almost" that they've missed, surely?

Meanwhile, Shears' decision to marry his boyfriend gets an odd treatment:

Now Jake is planning to follow his pals SIR ELTON JOHN and DAVID FURNISH’s example by, walking boyfriend Chris up the aisle.

Up the aisle - geddit? What we love, though, is the suggestion that Elton is the only gay man who has ever got married and so any gay weddings have to be done in emulation of him - it's like reporting Cheryl Tweedy and Ashley Cole's nuptials as "following the lead of Britney Spears and Jason Alexander."

Still, like Elt and mycivilpartnerdavid, they're planning a quiet wedding in a traditional setting, are they?

And he plans to do it at the Glastonbury festival. He told Attitude magazine: “Chris thinks it might be too much of a scenario but I think it’d be a great party.

“We could have naked trannies jumping out of cakes and stuff. It’d be fun.”

If a transvestite is naked, are they still a trannie?

music jake shears scissor sisters gay weddings elton john suicide