THAT'S CHRISTMAS RUINED, THEN

Reports from the other side of the shark suggest that Peter Kay is plotting with Sharleen Spiteri to cook up some sort of Christmas musical confection. Spiteri promises a nightmare line up and, of course, hilarity:

“Peter’s got so many mates in the music industry now so I’ve told him to get an album together. He’s performed with me, TONY CHRISTIE and ELTON JOHN and he’s friends with PAUL WELLER, BILLY JOEL and TAKE THAT.

“If he got an album together with all of them on there it is bound to go to No1. I’d definitely be on it.

“We are already doing something together at Christmas which I can’t talk too much about. — but of course, it is going to be hilarious.

“It would be great if he managed to get the album together for then as well.”

Kay, of course, somehow managed to get a credit on a re-release of Tony Christie's Is This The Way To Amarillo despite not actually doing anything on the record at all. Yes, he was in the video - but so was Sooty.

Older readers might recall a time when Kay was a mildly amusing commedian rather than a kind of entertainment giant knotweed.

music peter kay sharleen spiteri