Busy doing nothing, Beckham the whole day through

We feel terrible this morning. We've always enjoyed making sport of Victoria Beckham, but, until the publication of her new book, we had no idea just how tough she had it:

Posh, 32, admits she gets “massively stressed as a mum” and adds: “You often feel you have no time to yourself.”

It's true. By the time you've briefed the nanny, booked David a tattooist to ink the kid's names onto his back, and checked the nanny's phone to see if there are any saucy texts to or from your husband, there's barely time to do... whatever else it is Victoria might do with her day.

“Being a mother’s taught me not to waste time faffing about in the closet every morning. You learn how to get things done quicker, and often you do them just as well.”

Yes, sometimes Victoria has no choice but to brief the staff before her first outfit change of the day. Sometimes, if she has to tell the gardener what to do in the same shoes she was wearing to talk lunch with the housekeeper, well, so be it.

But how can Victoria claim back these precious moments? Multitasking, of course:

“Nowadays, I multitask, planning outfits while I’m doing something else — getting ready for bed or taking a bath."

See, ladies? You don't have to think about what you're going to slip into stood in front of the wardrobes; you can do so while you're doing the other essentials of the day.

You'll note, too, this insight into just how busy Posh is - she has to get up every day, she often bathes and sometimes gets ready for bed, itself an onerous task.

But there's more. Think about your outfit:

“Even though I love getting dressed up, there’s always the risk of baby sick down my front. That’s why I live in jeans and T-shirts.”

It's true. Even when the nanny is holding the baby on the other side of the room, those little tykes can projectile vomit. The solution? No ballgowns or Chanel dresses during the day, ladies. And only the most modest of tiaras.

One final piece of fashion advice from Victoria. Beware of miniskirts:

“I’ve seen people getting out of cars with no knickers on!”

To be fair, though, Geri had put a duster round down there before she'd left the house.

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