Monday, October 02, 2006

Jamelia dampens down 3AM

The continuing experiment of turning the 3AM girls page in the Mirror into a guest-edited feature really runs into the sand today with Jamelia, whose contributions would struggle to make it past an It's Real editor's conference. So we learn that:

SHOCK! Lemar is one of her best mates;

HORROR! Jamelia would have liked to be in EastEnders, but can't act, or on Strictly Come Dancing, but can't dance (we note not being able to sing didn't keep her off Top of the Pops);

GASP! Her boyfriend is a bit untidy;

YAWN! Jamelia won't ever have plastic surgery. Unless she gets her breasts done.;

SLEEPYWINKERS! If her boyfriend cheated on her, she'd cut off his bollocks, but doesn't need to, because he wouldn't;

CANIGONOW? She once met Prince Charles without a bra on. She didn't have a bra, not Charles, although he probably didn't have on one, either.

Thank god there was some advertising on the page, otherwise we'd probably have had "what I'm going to watch on TV tonight" and some drawings of kittens to pad out the page.

Let's stop having the 3AM filled with what celebrities want us to hear, and go back to the usual system, of letting their PR teams do it for them.

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