A disturbance on the Beckham's driveway

Goodness, fetch the smelling salts. The News of the World arrives panting with some chilling news:

A BODYGUARD to the Beckhams pulled a GUN on three intruders in a kidnap scare at the couple's Spanish home, the News of the World can reveal.The armed minder dramatically confronted them seconds after they slipped through a metal gate and headed towards the £5million mansion where Posh, 32, and one-year-old son Cruz were inside.

Blimey. A kidnap scare, eh? That's shocking.

Except, of course, rather than a big band of dangerous kidnappers hoping to put Victoria Beckham into a sack of some sort, they were waving guns in the faces of a hapless Japanese camera crew who were filming a documentary on footballer's houses.

The more important question seems to have been missed by the paper. Since these people could have been happily kept off the Posh Lawn by a locked gate, does that suggest the Beckham security team are the sort of people who should be allowed to run about waving guns at people threatening to shoot them? If they can't be trusted to padlock a gate, should they be trusted to cock a revolver and aim at people?

It's not the first time, of course, that the News of the World has run a story about a kidnap threat to Victoria Beckham which turned out to be less than the sum of its parts. The last time, they paid convicted criminal Florim Gashi £10,000 for his story which resulted in a collapsed case and a massive waste of public money spent on trials.

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