Does your father know where you're at?

There's another Madonna story in the Sun today, where Victoria Newton has exclusively bought a copy of the new Abba compilation and reproduces the sleeve notes, written by Madonna:

“Abba’s timeless music continues to inspire me. It’s joyous. Standing still when you hear Abba is impossible.

Well... joyous unless it's something like One of Us. And impossible to stand still, unless it's one of the slow songs like Chiquitita. Perhaps Madonna has only heard a couple of their songs?

Then, god help us all, Victoria Newton herself decides to wade in:

My own confession is a guilty love for Abba – who have to be the best pop act of all time.

But I’m in good company. They are also NOEL GALLAGHER’s favourite group.

We're really confused - if they're the "best pop act of all time" and lauded by the twin delights of Madonna and Noel, why on earth is it a "guilty love" you have to "confess"? And in Britain, where a love of Abba is now taught in citizenship classes, why would liking Abba be something to be coy about? It's like going to a priest and saying "forgive me father, for I have had consensual missionary-position sex with my lawful wedded wife in order to try and have a child."

music madonna abba noel gallagher