Madonna keen to ruin Abba for all of us

Here's something an eye-watering exclusive from Victoria Newton in The Sun:

MADONNA is working with ABBA legends AGNETHA FALTSKOG and FRIDA LYNGSTAD on tracks for her new album.

Blimey. How has she managed to fit that around not-getting-special-treatment-from-Malawi and flying back and forth?

Erm, it turns out "is working" is an extrapolation of "has had a conversation about working with":

A source said: “Madonna has been in contact with Agnetha and Frida for a few months."

Oh.

Still, the fact they've not so much as doodled an empty stave on the back of an overestimated Npower bill doesn't hold Victoria back; she's already picturing them storming the charts:

It should be a sure-fire hit...

You may sense an "if" on its way.

...if Madge, seen going to the movies in London’s Mayfair, chooses to release their joint studio efforts as a single.

If they ever manage to schedule the time in the studio. And if the sessions produce anything worth releasing. And if, and if.

Mind you, we shouldn't make fun of Victoria Newton's enthusiasm. After all, she is a bit of an Abba-expert:

And even though Agnetha has lived like a virtual recluse and Frida hung up her high-heeled platform shoes years ago — they have agreed to go into the studio.

Except, of course, Agnetha isn't even a virtual recluse, and she gets annoyed that hacks try and suggest a private life is in some way odd:

“I’m the same person that I’ve always been – nice, normal, down-to-earth, and easily stressed.”

She complained that a picture had been created of her by the media as a recluse on the island of Ekerö. Comparisons with Greta Garbo, another Swede with a reputation for withdrawing from society, were unfair:

“It’s a picture that the media has created as a punishment for me not showing myself enough,” she said, adding that she would “rather be an original than a bad copy.”

Much more certain is that Lenny Kravitz is going to be involved in the next Madonna collection. Which means she's going to need the Abba magic even more.

music madonna abba