Won't someone please think of the childr... oh, you are

Of course, when couples divorce, there's always a pang of sympathy for the helpless, hapless victims of the marriage; the ones who don't have the skills or knowledge or experience to look after themselves.

But, to be fair, Kevin Federline is coming out fighting. He's decided - presumably having remembered the prenup is supposedly tighter than Donald Rumsfeld's rictus grin - that he's going to take something away from this marriage, dammit. Kevin wants sole custody of the children. Because he loves those kids, and everything they represent - up to, and possibly including, the prospect of a monthly child support cheque from Britney.

Kevin - now, almost universally dubbed Fed-Ex - is also seeking spousal support from Britney.

Meanwhile, The Sun is amongst the commentators who notice that, simultaneous with the divorce suit, Britney's had something of a makeover. Or, at least, has stopped appearing in public looking like something disturbed by the fire alarm at a Days Inn. Rather uncomfortably, the paper ends its report with a jarring You go girl!, as if they'd spent a little too long watching the Tyra Banks Show.

In the Mirror, Miriam Stoppard off Where There's Life professes herself astonished by the whole business. Astonished that it lasted this long:

FRANKLY, Britney, I'm astonished that you stayed with such an appalling specimen of manhood for so long.

She's got some advice - a little more practical than the Sun's honking:

Enjoy being single.

Then start looking for a man who will make a good stepfather rather than boneheads who are only good between the sheets.

We're not entirely sure how Miriam can say so definitively that Kevin is good between the sheets - but Hollywood sources do say that Federline didn't always come home every night. He must have been sowing oats somewhere.

The Mail found an onlooker who watched her go ice-skating in New York:

One onlooker said: "It was utterly strange. Britney was occasionally holding hands with this guy Larry Rudolph. She tentatively took to the ice at first but started doing pirouettes and looked quite an accomplished skater."

Interesting... they found someone who was able to identify Britney's former manager by name, and yet seemed thrown that someone might take to the ice slightly awkwardly before they hit their stride.

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