Pink wants sheep's arses left untouched

If you're fresh out of ideas for Christmas gifts, and are toying with the idea of buying a sweater - perhaps with a reindeer on, or maybe a snowman - stop and think. First, don't do it, because it's a rubbish idea and the giftee will hate you and you'll have ruined their Christmas. Secondly, if it's made from Australian wool, Pink will come and kick your ass.

She's calling for a worldwide boycott of Australian wool products until the country bans the practice of cutting off the back end of its sheep without putting the sheep under first. The farmers do this to try and prevent maggots infesting the sheep's butts - look, we know you're eating, we're sorry. There seems something rather gung-ho about thinking "how can we stop maggots eating our sheep's bottoms? I know, let's cut the bottoms off, then there's nothing for them to feast on. Job done."

Australia is a little annoyed at Pink:

Australian Treasurer Peter Costello said the practice stopped sheep dying of maggot infestations and was humane.

He questioned Pink's expertise, saying: "Pink is entitled to her views but at the end of the day would Australia's farmers take advice from Pink?"

Costello said that that mulesing was a better option than leaving sheep to die.

"Sheep are at risk of being fly-blown and dying... it's not a pretty sight," he said. "Mulesing is not a pretty sight either but it's a damn sight more humane than letting a sheep die fly-blown in a paddock."

You have to hope he never becomes health minister - "let's cut the kids' throats out - that'll stop 'em getting tonsillitis..."

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