"I believe you're looking for a place..."

Yesterday, Victoria Beckham and her husband, the former footballer David Something, were given advice on how to behave in LA by Toby Young - it was of the sort of quality of suggesting Posh gets bigger tits. We're sure they've clipped it out.

Toby Young. Taking advice about fitting in in the US is like marriage guidance from Britney Spears.

Today, in what we suspect isn't actually in any way true, there are reports that Michael Jackson is hoping to offload Neverland onto the pair.

It's not impossible - the realtor could well have been despairing ("where will we ever find someone with the horrific lack of taste to take this place off our hands?") when the news comes through that Victoria's on her way - but we can't help noticing that the Sun's report includes a handy get-out as to explain why the couple won't be living there:

But sources close to her say that while she may be interested in viewing Neverland, she will tell Jacko “no deal” because of its impractical location.

Plus, the ghostly sounds of sobbing children might be a dealbreaker.

Isn't someone who goes to view a house they have no intention of buying a timewasting lookey-lou?

music victoria beckham david beckham michael jackson