Wouldn't bet on it

Why on earth would anyone bet money on Jarvis Cocker invading the stage at the Brits this year?:

BETS are already being taken on whether nominee JARVIS COCKER will re-enact his famous 1996 Brits performance, which saw him crashing the stage.

[A gambling company] have offered odds of 33/1 on Cocker — who leapt on set during MICHAEL JACKSON’s Earth Song — mooning someone during a performance.

You might as well bet on Chumbawamba throwing water over John Prescott again, or Sam Fox presenting. It's not going to happen. Unless Jarvis decides to embrace the chance to make some easy money.

The odds on ROBBIE WILLIAMS smacking one of the GALLAGHER brothers are 8/1.

Not only is that not going to happen, but the odds are way too short - the chance of Robbie squaring up to someone is going to start at 100-1; of him actually hitting someone who would hit back is surely in lottery-odds territory?

[The betting company's] entertainment manager, Helen Jacob, said: “With so many party animals likely to be in attendance, there are bound to be fireworks and we’ll witness all the high jinks live on TV.”

High jinks? What are the odds on someone stealing a policeman's helmet, or throwing a bread roll at Jimmy Edwards?

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