Judge takes dislike to Diddy heroin

Puffing Daddy has been struck down by a court for failing to honour another undertaking to not call himself Diddy in the UK. The original Diddy - Richard Dearlove - has won another court battle which will stop Nu-Diddy from calling himself Diddy on stage when he plays Wembley.

We're a little puzzled as to why, though: we can see the vague possibility of confusion between, say, two records by different Diddys side-by-side in the shops; but is anyone going to suddenly hear Puff sing a line that says "call me Diddy" suddenly think "hang about... I thought this was Sean Diddy, but now it sounds like it's Richard Dearlove."

Judge Kitchin decided it wasn't as simple as that:

The judge ruled: “The second verse refers to Mr Combs as ‘Diddy’ as he invites the listener to ‘mainline this new Diddy heroin’. Mr Combs expressly refers to iTunes and asks the listener to ‘Download me in every resident’. He refers to his CD as ‘my CD’s in 3-D holograms’, and finally refers to his shows with the words, ‘the live show’s a hard act to follow man’.

“I see this as straightforward advertisement by Mr Combs of his CD, his songs which can be downloaded from iTunes and his live shows, all under and by reference to the word ‘Diddy’.

“The listener will understand he is being encouraged to buy the Press Play CD, to download the songs and that the live show is an event well worth attending.”

To be honest, that sounds like P Diddy's not just passing himself off as someone else but indulging in some false advertising, too.

The suggestion that lyrics are adverts is a curious legal precedent - does this mean that when Sam Fox sang "touch me, touch me" she was attempting to enter into some sort of contact contract?

How P Diddy must hate Dearlove. How he must fume everytime he thinks of this fairly-obscure British bloke making him dance to his tune. Especially as a further trial is being lined up to see if P Diddy is breaking the agreement online, too.