We're indebted to the The Guardian's diary for capturing Noel from Oasis as he enters politics:
"I might stand for election myself, to be quite honest. I've worked this out. I reckon I could sort it out, the country, in a year and a half. I'd definitely bring back hanging, that's for starters. If you get convicted three times by three separate juries then you're going to the gallows, and if by any chance some evidence comes up that you may have been innocent and they can prove it beyond reasonable doubt then your next of kin gets £500,000. Vote for me."
Hang about... you have to prove your dead' relative's innocence beyond reasonable doubt, rather than the State... Noel announces he's pro-state killing at a charity do for people with terminal cancer... capital punishment... hanging... try and concentrate, Simon, this is serious... maybe electrocution might be cleaner... who would execute people, though... where... find... who?