Eddie Van Halen has gone into rehab - not, you'll understand, for himself. But for all of us:
"That's why I have decided to enter a rehabilitation facility to work on myself, so that in the future I can deliver the 110 percent that I feel I owe you and want to give you."
Since Van Halen have been churning out less than forty per cent - on a good day - since about 1984, that's going to be quite a long time he'll be in there.
Victoria Newton hasn't published a card for us to send him, yet.