Wednesday, April 04, 2007

And the last chair on the panel...

Although Sinitta seems convinced she's a done deal, that hasn't stopped The Sun insisting yet more people will be crowded onto the ever-growing judging panel on The X-Factor when it returns.

First, who could they be talking about?

"She’s sexy and she’s been in the pop business for years so she knows what she’s talking about."

Dannii Minogue! Oh, she'd be perfect, with her knowledge of the pop industry: "Yeah, you can sing OK, but without a more talented and successful sister, I'm not sure you've got what it takes."

The other seat, reckons the paper, has also been allocated:

Brian Friedman.

Go on, you know Brian.

He's a "top US choreographer", apparently; he's going to be on ITV's rip-off of How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria, where they try to find people to appear in Grease.

But the paper isn't convinced by him, either, and throws yet another name into the mix:

Billy Bush.

Apparently the first cousin of the one-man US president. The very idea that someone with so little talent, a rotten track record and no charm could get a job like that seems absurd; it's even less likely George's cousin will appear on Saturday night ITV.

We wonder if the paper is trying to just mention the names of everyone in the world before the official announcement, so that whoever it is, they can go "told you."


6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dannii Minogue is an amazing talent. It will be fantastic for the British public to see what a star she is in her own right. She's the STAR of Australia's Got Talent right now.

James said...

This sounds fun. We should all get in on this, see who guesses right, like some sort of P-list Celebrity Guess Who.

My guesses:

Alex Party
Rob McElwee
Kenny Lynch
Living in a Box
Martin P Daniels
Doc Cox
Giant Haystacks
Adrian Juste
Simon Parkin
Lou Diamond Phillips
Roger DeCourcey
Mad Lizzie Webb
Gary Wilmott
Selina Scott
Mr Bennett off of Take Hart

If any of those get the gig, that exclusive is MINE.

Simon Hayes Budgen said...

Anon - so, what you're basically saying is that Dannii Minogue has finally found something she's good at - sitting telling wannabes they're rubbish?

James - Actually, you know, Kenny Lynch would be bloody good at that. But since Mr Bennett was also Vince Purity, and You Should Be So Lucky was about seventy times more entertaining than The X Factor, it's hard to see why he'd want the gig.

James said...

simon - Don't post too loudly; If Cowell gets wind of YSBSL, we'll see the next series of X Factor incorporating a board-game format, with Dermot flanked by four stage-school children in pink, quicker than you can say "How Do You Solve A Problem Like Nicky Kenickie"...

Jimmy Cricket
Jerry Hayes MP
Sid Little
Ted Rodgers
Rodney Bewes
Jamie Benson out of Hepburn
Nasty Nick
Peter Purves
One of Girl Thing
Karel Fialka

Simon Hayes Budgen said...

Ted Rogers might prove a little challenging, although since Dusty Bin is having a post-modern revival thanks to that garlic bread man, maybe Dusty could help out?

I think Doc Cox and Doctor Fox would make a smashing double, though.

James said...

"I think Doc Cox and Doctor Fox would make a smashing double, though"

Well, Cox does have a history of working with unusually-shaped vegetables.

*canned laughter, polite applause*

Back to you, Esther.

Post a Comment

As a general rule, posts will only be deleted if they reek of spam.