Thursday, April 12, 2007

Ride the Hendrix dipper

Proving that there's no brand extension too tacky for some franchises, the Hard Rock cafe people are going to add to their overpriced burger bars, casinos, hotels and lucrative "selling unflattering t-shirts to timid tourists" business by opening a theme park in South Carolina.

This, apparently, is to be the largest tourist initiative ever in South Carolina - which is a little bit like "the most welcoming pub in the Gorbals" in the 1980s, to be honest.

As you can see, to celebrate the groundbreaking on the project, they built a massive sand sculpture called Mount Rockmore (but of course) - we're not quite sure, but we think the featured figures are Rufus Hound, Billie Jean King, Estelle Getty and Bill Webster.

(Actually, the press release reckons they're "Elvis Presley, John Lennon, Bob Marley and Jimi Hendrix" - Bob Marley?)

So, what can visitors expect?

With more than five years in creation and design, the innovative Hard Rock Park will feature six unique “rock environs” celebrating rock’s culture, lifestyle, legends and irreverence. Appealing to the family audience, the destination theme park will offer a diverse blend of rides, shows and interactive elements creating a totally immersive full day experience.

The rock lifestyle and irreverence, eh? So there's going to be a drug ride (the ultimate trip), a dubious under-age sex zone, and a Swearatholon machine where you can try and outrage public decency by saying "cock" on an authentic recreation of a... oh, hang about, it's going to be some rollercoasters with paintings of Dolly Parton on the cars, isn't it?

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