An Open Letter To My Teenage Self

For some reason - we can't assume it's purely to come off as a smug, self-satisfied git - Fergie has sent a letter to her 17 year-old self. Typical of the bloody Post Office, though, it's only just turned up.

Oh, hang on.

"Sure, you'll be a giant flirt and wear sexy clothes, but you'll never take it to an unhealthy level and act on it." Fergie also warns herself about the rough patches ahead in her life, including her drug addiction and debt problems - but adds,"Don't worry. You'll always come back to your roots."

Fergie's 17 year-old self has replied with a text message trying to clarify what, exactly, she means by "acting on sexy clothes to an unhealthy level" and pointing out that if she'd included some useful information - like who wins the 2002 Kentucky Derby - she could have avoided the debt problems altogether. A second text attempted to clarify if "I'm, like, always this embarrassing in the future?"