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People who read the People are the unluckiest people of all
We're probably a trifle hard on Victoria Newton here most weekdays, perhaps giving the impression that she's by far and away the worst person filling a showbiz column in the UK at the moment. To be fair, she might be very, very bad indeed, but she's like Orwell compared to the People's Alice Walker and the aptly-named Debbie Manley. It takes two of them to come up with this sort thing, which passes for thoughts on a possible duet between Amy Winehouse and the Arctic Monkeys:
Our mole at last week's Ivor Novello awards in London said: "They even talked about songs and rehearsal dates." We say: 1. When The Sambuca Goes Down. 2. I Bet You Look Good At The Altar. 3. Mardy Beehive.
What they've done there is change some of the words in Arctic Monkeys songs.
2 comments:
I think that's a tad unfair. What they've done here is show some comedy writing talent on a par with Gervais and Merchant. Specifically, writing which fills you with a gut-twisting cringe at seeing other people embarrass themselves. Who didn't read that list of toe-curling 'joke' titles without feeling the same sink in their stomachs they felt when David Brent welcomed the Swindon team with a stand-up routine in which he died on his arse?
They did mean to do that, didn't they?
Oh, and:
"We're probably a trifle hard on Victoria Newton here most weekdays"
Congratulations! You are the first person ever to get the words 'Victoria Newton' and 'hard on' in the same sentence.
Particular credit is due for 'I Bet You Look Good At The Altar', which puns on the not-especially unusual fact that Amy Winehouse got married.
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