Sunday, June 24, 2007

Craig David finds a new meaning for "pimping MySpace"

We're a little surprised that the News of the World would run a story this morning which claims that Craig David uses his MySpace profile as a way to meet girls - after all, it's hardly going to promote a sister company to suggest that if you join them, there's a risk that Craig David might pop round with a bottle of Blue Nun and a packet of pickled-onion flavoured condoms, is it?

Model Karina Holmes revealed how she was taken in by the highly-sexed R&B warbler. And now she is Walking Away....

She said: "I thought he was too good to be true. How right I was."

She was devastated when she discovered he was seeing a host of MySpace girls.

Karina added: "He would be trawling MySpace while I was in bed with him! He said he was just checking on his profile. It's obvious to me now that he was looking to pick up other girls."

Inevitably, we're going to hear what David is like in the bedroom - allegedly, of course:
But she made him wait two weeks before giving in. She said: "It was amazing when we finally did it. Craig slipped off my jeans, then pulled my top over my head and stared longingly at my body like it was a precious ornament."

Then they made love for hours.

"I whispered to him that he was a steam engine in bed," said Karina. But his motor-mouth really got on her nerves.

Like a steam engine? Constantly demanding that his coal hole gets filled, making a hell of a lot of noise, and letting off massive piles of waste gasses? Or merely in the sense that he attracts a lot of men in anoraks who write his number down in their small books?

And was Craig really "staring longingly" at her body "like it was a precious ornament", or it had been so long since he'd seen a naked woman he couldn't remember what he was supposed to do?


3 comments:

karlt said...

Then they made love for hours.


This is the News Of The World. Surely they 'romped'?

James said...

I miss 'bonking'. When did people stop 'bonking'?

Anonymous said...

well, thats bullshit...i think no girl would have said this...it doesnt matter is craig..i dont believe this

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