Johnny Borrell considering demanding own country

Obviously, after a hard day having to work in near proximity to the common folk who make up the "Johnny Borrell's backing band" out of Johnny Borrell and The Johnny Borrell Experience, the last thing Johnny Borrell wants to do is spend his time off standing about with ordinary people. You know the type - people who wear jeans which aren't white, or wear shirts at all; the type who have never written a song sung by everyone in the country.

So when Borrell and Kirsten Dunst turned up at Electrowerkz in Islington, they were distraught to discover other people were there. They demanded their own VIP area to keep them separate from the general oikery. Apparently, such a fuss was made the management eventually agreed, but it sounds like what they did was empty out a cupboard, stuck up a hastily-scrawled "Johnny Borrell's special super secret area - keep out!!!" with a skull and crossbones in the corner, and let them sit in there all night on an upturned box of lever arch files.

We're not quite sure what the point of going out to a nightclub and then spending the whole evening sat in a room by yourself would be, but at least it gets you out the house.

Transport For London has announced it is currently considering proposals for special "Borrell-only lanes" to be added to the capital's streets.