Meet the Glastonbury piss police

170 volunteers are going to be patrolling the Glastonbury site this year, with the intention of trying to stop people pissing in the streams and polluting the rivers.

They can be good cops:

"We're comic cops and we aim to embarrass people... and educate them in a humorous way," said Ms Vallely.

"People are approached and we tell them they've been arrested and that they are causing an environmental hazard.

"We don't let them go until we hear the magic words: 'I won't do it again'."

And they can be bad cops:

"But we can get people chucked out [of the event], or make sure they never get a ticket again, or take them to the police."

That 'never get a ticket again' bit - how, precisely? Is the photo ticket and name and address record going to function not just as an entry mechanism, but as some form of site-wide ID scheme? Are there any other occasions on which the giant Eavis database will be flagged up with your details?

It's a lovely idea to try and stop the inappropriate weeing, but let's hope the main role of the Piss Squad is to be symbolic rather than quite so repressive.