Apparently, rock is dead

Sean Lennon has announced the death of rock and roll:

“I mean rock 'n' roll is already kind of played out. I wouldn't even be doing it if my mission was to be a pioneer.

"I'm only worried about creating beautiful songs. I'm not trying to reinvent songwriting. Pop music and rock 'n' roll, it's not such a vital art form anymore in the way that it was in the sixties.”

Police said they wished to interview Mr. Lennon after his various attempts to kill rock in recent years, but reassured the public that music was in fine fettle. "We think" said a spokesperson for the police "that Mr. Lennon had inherited a disease from his father which stopped him seeing clearly anything that happened in the last forty years."