The value of biding your time

Back when the News of the World first ran its story about Dannii Minogue mucking about with strippers and getting caught on video. Dannii Minogue was just the less-popular Minogue sister. Now, though, she's a judge on X Factor, and thus every bit as famous and important as Piers Morgan.

Wisely, Janine Marshall has waited until now to come forward to sell her story to the News of the World. It's actually the same story the Screws ran back in February 2006, although with a name on it and some pictures of a stripper to illustrate it.

Oh, and some "personal testimony":

"She was calling out for me, so I sauntered over and squeezed my breasts as I danced seductively in front of her," said Janine.

"I've got a three-foot rule — I never go closer than that with clients. But with Dannii it was different. I pushed the boundaries more than I would with other clients because she's a woman and I felt safe.

I gyrated between her legs and that sent Dannii even wilder — she kicked her leg out in sheer excitement."

Probably would have been better to have kept to that three-foot rule if Minogue's legs are shooting off all over the place, we'd have thought.

Actually, is it possible that Dannii was lashing out rather than getting excited?

Janine then explains - for the innocent News of the World reader - what a stripper does when she's at work:

"I teased down my skirt and was dancing in my panties and halter-neck bikini top, which I unknotted.

"My boobs fell out of my top and I peeled off my knickers before stepping out of them."

We've never found the concept of "peeling off" knickers to be very sexual, with its overtones of them being stuck to your skin.

"Dannii admired me. She said, ‘Wow, look at that body.' I knew I looked fantastic. At one point she grabbed a curl of my hair and twiddled it around her finger. And she said, ‘You've got such sexy hair'.

Sexy hair? Are you sure you heard that right?

"Dannii adored my boobs and couldn't believe they were natural, so she reached out and her fingers played with them gently. I kneeled and my hands glided up the side of her waist.

"She kept leaning forward to nestle her face in my breasts. I turned around to face a mirrored wall and as I arched my back my bottom pushed out towards Dannii," she recalled.

"And it felt so sexy when she put her palms flat against my butt cheeks. I could see her through the mirror grinning at her boyfriend, like a cat that had got the cream."

And so on it goes, with Janine really using the opportunity to suggest that she was, you know, the woman with the best breasts and best butt and best stripping technique in all of London. It's almost as if it's all about her.

After more - much more - of this sort of thing, Minogue and her boyfriend then paid for her to sit and talk with them:

"Dannii said she loved watching me dance naked and admitted she'd had pole dancing lessons herself," said Janine.

"She said she enjoyed pole dancing and it made her feel sexy."

This is something we've never quite got - if you take pole dancing out of a sex club, doesn't it just become a very monotonous form of gymnastics? Pole dancing in a gym or in your own living room - by yourself, or with a teacher - surely is only like performing a sex show in the same way that undressing for bed is like being a stripper?

Still, it's nice to hear that when the story brokeover a year ago, Dannii did get in touch with the woman to ask if she was alright, which is quite sweet.

Janine was outraged at the time, though:

Janine admits she was shocked and upset when the CCTV stills from her dalliance with Dannii became public.

"It hurt me that I was exploited but I'm running my own dance academy and teaching regular women the art of seduction and pole dancing."

"I've moved on with my life."

So hurt and upset she, erm, sold her story to the paper which "exploited" her, and moved on with her life so far she, erm, selling her story to the newspaper. That'd be, um, closure, would it?