Tired of the endless whining about block-voting, the organisers of Eurovision called in PriceWaterhouse Coopers to audit this year's voting.
They found no evidence of orchestrated irregularities:
"We have looked into it and we have had auditors look at it, but it is not possible to manipulate the voting," he added.
"I wouldn't say 100% because that would be impossible but there is no way you can manipulate the tele-voting.
"People say this in their disappointment when they try to find explanations."
This misses the point slightly - not even Wogan at his most drunk suggests that the Greek government is pulling strings to ensure their 12 points go to Cyprus; the point is that - for the purely innocent reason that countries which share borders are more likely to share common tastes - the current voting system is liable to favour small nations which tend to give leg-ups to each other's neighbours than, ooh, haughty off-shore island nations which enter camp airline-themed bands, for example.
Still, you have to admire everyone involved for burning through cash on a consultant's report which doesn't even understand the question it should be asking. This is like watching Man United beat Stockport five-nil, and when people suggest it wasn't a fair contest, arranging drug testing for the United team to disprove those claims.