Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Katona: that's why Mum's gone to Coventry

The board of Baugur must be delighted with their ongoing Kerry Katona fronted advertising campaigns - who better to stress the vital and important beyond mothers and children reflected in the adverts than Kerry Katona.

Hey, for Christmas, why don't they shoot an advert with Kerry's own mum in?

Eh, Kerry?

"I want nothing more to do with her.

"It's sad but it's taken me all this time to realise she's a nasty piece of work.

"She took me for a ride. She doesn't like Mark because he could see through her.

"It's awful to say but the only time I'll get peace from that woman is when she's dead.

"She isn't even mentally ill, she's just sick in the head."

Isn't illness being sick, and mental pertaining to the head, and thus "mentally ill" and "sick in the head" the same thing expressed with differing levels of delicacy?

Still, plenty there for Iceland's creatives to work with - they could run with a fireside scene of a table groaning under the weight of turkey-nose nuggets and breaded gristle-sticks, with Kerry and a screen husband (for some reason, they seem reluctant to cast Mark in these things) enjoying a stolen kiss over the seven-for-a-quid pizza bites, while Old Mother Katona stands outside in a howling snowstorm, face pressed to the window. Heartwarming, isn't it?