Monday, October 01, 2007

Kerry Katona: The books what "I" wrote

Kerry, you are in danger of spreading your talents way, way too thin. Coming this month, there's her first novel - if you assume that (a) she wrote it and (b) that her previous books weren't equally made up - called Tough Love: Everyone Knows You But Nobody Knows the Truth. Can you guess what it's about?

Besides making more money from the Katona-obsessed?

Amazon offers a precis:

Leanne Crompton had it all - beauty, fame, money. But when Leanne is sacked by her modelling agency, she soon finds herself penniless. With her seven-year-old daughter Kia to support, she has no option but to head north to her home town... back to her wayward family. With a brother just released from prison, another being taken for a mug by his wannabe-WAG girlfriend, and two sisters trying to escape her shadow, life with the Cromptons is a harsh reminder of how far she's fallen. Now, starting over and with an explosive secret to hold on to - the identity of Kia's dad - things start to get tough. Can she trust her ruthless mother Tracy not to sell her out to the papers? Or will Kia's dad catch up with her and silence her for good? "Tough Love" is the startling debut novel from former pop star and tabloid favourite Kerry Katona. Her memoir, "Too Much Too Young", was a "Sunday Times" top ten bestseller.

Goodness. A briefly rich-and-famous person who loses it all and winds up having to head back to a grim family in a Northern town, eh? Where does she get her ideas from?

And, yes, they're making much of her Sunday Times Top Ten Bestseller status, flashing it all across the cover. But where did the vast majority of those books end up, rather quickly?
Charity shop windowStill, someone's got faith in her, as the follow-up is already on the schedule for an April publication (where does she find the time to sign-off on these books, eh?). This one is a little different:
Charly Metcalfe has a new boyfriend - Premiership footballer Joel Baldy - and a new WAG lifestyle. But when rumours start circulating about Joel's sordid nights out without her, Charly is not happy and neither is her father, ex-villain Len Metcalfe. When Joel is found murdered in his hotel suite in Manchester, all eyes are on Len. He has the motive and the dangerous temperament. But what about Charly's disgruntled ex, Scott Crompton, or his criminal brother Markie, who has a debt to settle with Len. Behind the scenes there is someone who wants Len back inside and Charly back in her council house more than anything. And that person is keeping uncharacteristically quiet. They're willing to do anything to make sure that someone else is framed for the murder; even if that person turns out to be their own flesh and blood...Rough Justice is the second novel from former pop star and tabloid favourite, Kerry Katona.

A person from a Northern town who's dragged herself up from nothing and is set to lose it all... it's like she's a plot-creating machine...

1 comment:

Ben.H said...

Does that wannabe-WAG girlfriend have her boyfriend's PIN number for the ATM machine?

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