A couple of weeks after Heather Mills launched her online campaign against The Sun, the paper is sniffy about her success:
That does sound pretty poor. If you don't know anything about the internet or the UK. Fishing is the most popular sport in the UK, so turning in a performance like the mighty carp.com isn't actually that bad.
And 242,174th might sound low-placed, but since Netcraft have counted 142,805,398 websites on the net at the moment, that isn't actually too bad a placing.
The paper tries again:
Really? All this shows is that the Beatles - who are a pretty well established brand with a wide, international fanbase - are only the 75,000th most popular website in the UK, demonstrating how a rather lowly-sounding position in the chart isn't a sign of being shunned by the public.
But the paper isn't finished:
Heavens! Foreign people! Perhaps, though, those readers "not based in the UK" include, erm, the owner of The Sun? And - according to Comscore research - 42% of thesun.co.uk's readers are, themselves, based overseas.