Gordon in the morning: Hot Bros gossip

Gordon really has outdone himself this morning, with a large splash about a pair out on a date. In much the same way that Nigel Dempster's column used to fill itself up with features about people nobody much cared about, Gordon is excited about, erm, Ken from Bros and Cat Deeley being seen together.

Oddly, there isn't even a photo of the pair of them together, which means that Gordon is able to fill a lot of space reminding everyone who they were, and why we should care. Even that, though, isn't enough to stop a very slight story floating away, so he tries to hold it down by listing some of the couple's previous dating history.

Still space to roam? In a move which might be unprecedented for a make-it-up gossip column, Gordon makes up a denial for his own story on the subject's behalf, and then knocks down his own fictional denial:

I reckon that in Craig she could have found her match.

The former model could duck out of it by claiming she wasn’t on a date for romantic reasons.

But unless she is planning to launch a career as a pop star, I suspect she would be telling porkies.

So, yes, Cat might be lying if she says the words that you've made up for it. Well done, Gordon. Gordon could be telling people he's going to win next What The Papers Say award for biggest scoop, but unless he's got something better up his sleeve, I suspec he would be fibbing.