Lily Allen collapses in on herself

Lily Allen is set to implode in early 2008, as her constant slew of contradictions are starting to fold-in on each other. Like at the end of the Heroes, when all the people with the magic powers come together in the same place to help blow up the city.

Her GQ shoot has managed to line-up her pointless semilebrity feud with Cheryl Tweed Cole, and her modish self-hatred:

The 22-year-old called Girls Aloud star Cheryl Cole a "stupid bitch" for taking part in a sexy photoshoot, but has appeared in men's magazine GQ herself since shedding 21 pounds.

She said: "This shoot was a big thing for me. A lot of the stuff I said before was probably because I didn't feel confident enough to do this.

"I felt like, 'Oh, God, I'm short, fat, ugly... and I hate all those people that flaunt their beauty'. But I feel great at the moment. It's nice to do this for once."

We're a little confused, though: surely the point of her attack on Cole was not that she was a stupid bitch as such, but that the flaunting made other, normal-sized women feel terrible about themselves. So even if Lily is feeling good about herself at the moment - a good thing in itself - isn't then flaunting it on the cover of GQ still going to make normal-sized women feel bad about themselves? So in what way is it "nice" to do that?

Of course, if this was Heroes, there'd need to be a relative who'd turn up and fly off with her. Funnily enough, the People is reporting that Keith Allen is going to take Lily off to Hungary when he films the next series of Robin Hood.

(Although we're not entirely sure how a grown woman would tell the various entertainment companies who have a stake in her that she's going to live in Eastern Europe for five months.)

[Thanks to James P for the link and the collapsing world imagery]