The ongoing ructions from the claims about what Ashley Cole may or may not have done are dominating the pop gossip agenda this morning, but that's in the hands of another writer.
Luckily, Gordon can keep himself busy with some pictures of Atomic Kitten in their knickers. We'd think there was a stench of desperation about a band who feel people are only going to notice their reunion if they dance about in push-up bras. (Actually, fair dos to Jenny Frost, who has chosen to dress a little more demurely.)
And while we're being fair, Gordon does have a cracking story this morning, with the news that McFly are trying to grow up:
Yes, they're planning to leave Island and get serious. Indeed:
We really hope that they're not expecting Starbucks to treat their demo tape like it came from one of the most famous musicians from the biggest group of all time. Indeed, they might want to lower their sights from Starbucks to something more akin to, perhaps, those Let's Eat people who have the trollies on trains.
Of course, being Gordon, he has to ruin a good story by shoehorning in a lousy pun:
Boys, if you want to keep flogging millions of CDs, stick to what you do best.
The only way is down (load) from here.
The use of 't'internet'; the suggestion that what Radiohead did that was noteworthy was "releasing an album on" it - as if there aren't thousands of albums released on the web every week - and all just leading up to a weak pun. The warning itself is a good one, though.