Gigging for peace

Having solved the problems of world poverty and global warming through low-key mobile phone sponsorship opportunities and Coldplay songs, rock music has now decided to deal World Peace. Obviously, nobody would be as foolish as to believe that mankind's bloody history could be offset with a single gig at Wembley - even one with U2, Led Zep and the Floyd - so World Peace One intends to bring about peace through a ten year special concert programme:

"Our mission is ending all war at the end of our 10-year period," [WP1 founder Doug] Ivanovich tells Billboard. "Our intent is to foster and generate the largest peoples' movement, grassroots as well as institutional, in the history of the world."

Ivanovich -- who has a background in business development, finance, executive management, communications, event production and broadcasting -- has already enlisted an impressive array of governments and has the endorsement of Claes Nobel, senior member of the Nobel Peace Prize family.

Hmm. And Claes Nobel has Madonna's phone number, does he?

Now, it would be lovely to think that - come 2018 - we could be living in harmony and peace, with no more war. And it might happen, although to be honest it's going to depend more on the oil running out in the next decade than if The Kinks and the Boomtown Rats get on the same stage.

How is it supposed to work, then? There's always been art - much, much of it calling humanity for its stupidity and love of shooting, clawing, slicing and dicing other parts of humanity. It's a wonderful desire to want to do something to stop the pointless killing. But a few stadium gigs? It's like hoping the Oscars will cure cancer.