Raze the Carpenter's roof-beams

Things estate agents don't mention when you're looking for a house will include the possibility that the neighbours sit on their patio in their pants until four am singing Nizlopi songs, that the local kids use your street for drag-racing at weekends, and that Karen Carpenter collapsed there and, as a consequence, you'll get a stream of fans pouring up your driveway to have a bit of a nose ("to pay their respects").

It's the latter problem which is afflicting Manuel and Blanca Melendez Parra, who live in what was Richard and Karen Carpenter's childhood home. They can cope with birds suddenly appearing, but they're growing tired of tourists suddenly appearing every time they have breakfast.

They want to pull the house down and start again. This, of course, has upset the Carpenters fans; they're campaigning for the local council in Downey to make the house a historic site.

If we were the Parras, we'd rely on walking around naked. That should stop people peeking in through the drapes.