Gordon in the morning: Didn't the Spice Girls tour end already?

For reasons we can't quite figure, Gordon Smart runs with backstage photos from the Spice Girls tour this morning. No, not showing them doing crack or riding round on the back of prostitutes. Just hanging out backstage:

The girls also posed in their personalised silk dressing gowns – as modelled by EMMA BUNTON.

And GERI HALLIWEL prepared for the shows by slipping into a corset, lying on a flea-bitten rug and doing sit-ups beside her laundry basket.

It's not a corset, by the way, Gordon, it's clearly a dress with shoulder straps. But we think you're right with the laundry basket.

Naturally, Gordon only fawns over four of the girls:

“I didn’t want anything too tight around the crotch. That repulses me.” [says Victoria]

I feel the same when MEL B – looking like a leopard – pulls her leggings up too far.

"Looking like a leopard" here means 'wearing a fur print' rather than crawling round on all fours with whiskers. She's wearing a cape, Gordon. Have you ever seen a leopard with a cape? (The Leopard Of Lime Street, we recall, never wore a cape as part of his costume.)

Meanwhile, the news that a kid asked Leona Lewis 'are you a virgin' rather than 'are you a vegetarian' on South African radio gives Gordo ideas:

I might offer him a job on Bizarre.

There are plenty of “accidental” questions I could do with asking some famous faces.

Although surely employing a nine year-old would increase the average age of the writers on Gordon's team, we're a little surprised at the admission that in order to ask any hard question, this fearless showbiz editor would rather channel it through a kid.