Another day when the story cupboard is empty for Gordon then, as he splashes with Dancing On Ice star and Emma Bunton's cousin. It's going to be quite crushing for Gareth Gates that he's now been reduced to "Dancing On Ice star" - even Pop Idol doesn't get a mention till the bottom of the story, never mind his singing.
Apparently, he might have kissed Hayley Louise Hughes, who - you'll be ahead of us here - is vaguely related to a Spice Girl; she then posted photos on Facebook (or, inevitably, "t'internet") which Gordon thinks is going to make things difficult for Gareth and his fiancee Suzanne Mole. Although, erm, as Smart himself admits, this all happened before they were engaged. (Which, in itself, means this all happened before Christmas. Three month old stories, Gordon - is this Time Team?
Gordon seems to have something else he wants to say:
When Suzanne sees the pictures, Gareth will have to do some fast talking...
Not, of course, that Gordon would be making nudge-nudge gags about a man with a stutter.
But if Gordon is running with a distant relative of Emma Bunton hugging someone months ago as his big story, what does that mean for the down-page stories? Surely they're not going to be quite so thin, are they?
How about Billy Zane wears some pink trousers?