Gordon in the morning: The homecoming queen's got a gun

It's hard to believe, but Gordon is returning to the filming of a KitKat advert for the second day running. He's clearly having a break.

Today, it's an article built around a single throwaway line by Cheryl:

[W]hen catering staff, who were trying to feed skinny Cheryl, asked if there was anything else she needed, she replied: “A shotgun.”

Gordon happily fills some inches speculating on who she might want to shoot - happily, another chance for him to mention that Ashley Cole business, almost as if it's the one scoop he's managed since he took over from Newton and he can't let it go.

Sarah Harding is not without her problems, either:

“I’m in loads of pain with my back. It really hurt during yesterday’s long day of filming.

“And all the oversized bags that are fashionable these days don’t help.”

We've consulted some top doctors who suggest that, if you're having trouble carrying a large handbag, you might want to consider carrying a smaller bag. But I should stress that is general advice, and you may wish to consult your own doctor before downsizing your handbag to one you can actually carry.

For some reason - alright, to pad - Gordon also carries an advert for an E! programme about Amy Winehouse's life. It's meant to be a news story, but "here is a photo of Amy at school that has been given to me by a TV company" doesn't quite count, does it?

Still, it's better than Gordon's rationale for running a model has haircut story:

OH my word! Supermodel CLAUDIA SCHIFFER looks like the slightly better-looking twin sister of actress KATIE HOLMES in this short dark wig.

Slightly?