Heather Mills: chef

Well done, Sunday Mirror, for almost keeping a straight face reporting the supposed reinvention of Heather Mills as a TV chef. It's probably the most generous article we've read about Mills since... well, since she first had sex with a Beatle; the Mirror even describes her as a "charity campaigner" rather than, say, a money-grubbing hussy ex-hooker or something.

The trouble is, in the rush to be fair, it looks like the paper has completely lost its judgement:

Heather Mills is planning to become a vegan version of Nigella Lawson after landing her own cookery show.[...]

Heather, 40, has told friends she is also being lined up to present a Watchdog-style investigations show and is trying to get a backer for a chat show.

There's two weaknesses with this story - first, anyone who saw her presenting Larry King Live knows that she's not exactly any bloody good at all when it comes to presenting. Secondly, if she really has been signed up to present a programme, wouldn't there be, you know, some mention of who is going to make it, even if there's no channel attached to it as yet?

NB: Heather - YouTube doesn't count.