Gordon in the morning: More nipples

Gordon Smart appears to have given up totally on the journalism and thrown his weight behind softcore porn instead. For the second day running, the big Bizarre story is nothing more than an excuse to run a topless photo: Keeley Hazell has released a single. Her day job is being a Page Three girl - although she's not very good at that, either and, clearly, even Gordon can't find anything to say other than 'she has breasts and has made a record':

PAGE 3 favourite KEELEY HAZELL is already top of the peeps

Eh? Peeps?

Naturally, it’s in the Kee of see

What? What on earth are you talking about?

This is, remember, Gordon's big story today, at least online. In the paper, more space is given to claims that Amy Winehouse is thinking of dumping Island, supposedly with Alex Haines in charge:

“She’s been planning it with Alex, who has a bit of music know-how from working as her manager’s assistant."

Ah, yes. A manager's bagman. That'd be the perfect person to be in charge of a major recording artist's record label.

Elsewhere, Gordon has sneer at Coleen McLoughlin for going to McDonalds:

You can take the girl out of Croxteth but...you know the rest.

COLEEN MCLOUGHLIN couldn’t resist a slap-up meal at McDonald’s on the last day of her hen week.

Either Gordon has joined London Greenpeace, or this sudden dislike of fast food is somewhat puzzling - is McLoughlin only allowed to eat lobster and larks tongues now or something?

And, we all feel a little dirty: he's got a story about the Ting Tings, albeit the deal they've done with Apple that everyone else had a couple of days ago.