Monday, April 07, 2008

Rotten hotel chain promotes Coldplay

Travelodge are a rotten hotel chain. Even by budget standards, they're especially mean-spirited: not only paring the cheese, but proudly flaunt their penny-pinching:

Why can't you call the reception from the telephone in your room?

Providing a concierge-style service requires additional staff which means additional cost. And we reckon that for the sake of a short walk to the reception desk, customers would rather enjoy our great-value low room rates.

But since the person on the desk has to answer the questions anyway, how does it save money to make people trump along the halls and down the lifts to do it in person? And what do you do in an emergency?
In the event of an emergency you can call 999 direct on the room phone.

In other words, if you accidentally slash your wrists or crack your head open while in the room, you can't ask for help from the person "the short walk" down the hall, you have to ring up the police and wait for them to arrive.

However, despite this Spartan approach to keeping costs down, the company does seem to have an enormous pile of money to waste on pointless surveys. The latest has 'discovered' that British people fall asleep to Coldplay, and unveils this astonishing gem:
"The research shows that we are increasingly relying on slow, sleepy music and unchallenging books to take our minds off the pressures of modern living, to help us switch off and get to sleep at night", said Travelodge spokesperson Leigh McCarron.

Really? That's a surprise. You mean people don't tend to put on salsa tunes and start to snort coke when they want to go to bed?

A business that won't provide a biscuit to its guests because that would push up prices, but will commission a survey to discover that, when you're going to bed, you listen to quiet music.
Clearly, though, the very thought of Coldplay in an unlovely hotel room sent someone off a little early at the NME.


4 comments:

ian said...

Well given the choice between being conscious listening to coldplay, or being unconscious, it's a pretty easy choice.

Laura Brown said...

Hey, thanks for the link to that Travelodge page. Someone had suggested we stay there on an upcoming trip, but no way in hell am I staying there after reading that. Really, the only response to most of those statements (" You can make a decent cup of tea by sticking the tea-bag in the mug ... so why incur the cost of a teapot?") is "And fuck you, too."

Also, what do they mean we're "increasingly" relying on music and books? As opposed to what?

CarsmileSteve said...

valium and gin i guess...

travel lodge do these sort of "surveys" about once a fortnight, it's amazing. the idea, apparently, is to get people to think of travel lodge when they think of sleep:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/travel/2007/sep/12/hotels.uk

Laura Brown said...

And the papers print them, that's the sad thing. Just imagine if they had to fill all that space with actual reporting. The stories that might be uncovered ....

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