Gordon at the half-year mark

Oh, dear. Perhaps it wasn't such a good idea for Gordon Smart to have launched his spell in charge of Bizarre by pointing out he was Scottish, called Gordon and launching a 'manifesto' and cabinet. Smart did stress that he was nothing like Brown, beyond the similarities listed and the slightly gurning appearance. And, of course, the mystery of how he's still in the job.

So, how's he doing with that manifesto, then? Well, on some pledges - the ones about running pictures of women's breasts (sorry, "little wrigglers [who] appear almost naked") and "actively encourag[ing celebrities] to get tanked up", despite the Sun's constant editorials about how binge drinking is bad.

Some of the others, though - maybe less-well:

Hear about new bands, comedians, actors and characters on Bizarre first. The next OASIS, PETER KAY and JAMES McAVOY will be unveiled by this new regime.

We've yet to see much evidence of this talent-spotting. Indeed, with so much space given over to Oasis and Kasabian and - ye gods, Madonna - there's hardly any room for new talent. Indeed, Gordon promised to keep the crinkly old pantheon alive:

Wrinkly rockers deserve respect – you are held in high esteem for your services to showbiz. The creases are a reward for riding life ’til the wheels came off. I will keep you legends alive . . .

Indeed, when faced with a "wrinkly rock star" taking on new talent (well, new-ish talent), Gordon came down clearly on the side of Robert Plant.

And what of Gordon's pledge to get Robbie Williams "off his backside"? His approach seemed to be running stories to make him seem a bit bonkers, mainly by claiming that he was hanging out with David Icke.

Robbie Williams hasn't been hanging out with David Icke. Gordon might want to add a note to the story.

And what of Gordon's opening day invite for people to show their support by joining his MySpace? Up to 233 friends now - and a full 17 comments since he became head of Bizarre. It's hard to believe he's quite that popular, isn't it?