Gordon in the morning: Have you had sex with Amy, too?

Although there doesn't seem to be very much evidence for any of it - like a jealous husband, Gordon seems to assume that Amy Winehouse is sleeping with any man she talks to - Smart claims he's uncovered "lover number three" this morning:

Now it’s BABYSHAMBLES guitarist MIK WHITNALL who has been telling pals he’s bedded the Rehab singer.

So, he's told you, has he?

A pal revealed: “He says they’ve slept together a couple of times. He told a few people after that stuff about her and ALEX HAINES came out."

Ah. So some person - we have absolutely no idea who, or if they even exist - says that he says that he slept with her. Oh, and someone's mocked up an image of Amy with lots of men's names written on her thorax, so it must be true then.

Elsewhere, Gordon's descent into self-parody continues with a headline about a visit to a DIY store by Lily Allen:

Lily gets new some knockers

Yes, I'm afraid this is a gag about door knockers:

She spent ages in a DIY store in London hunting for perfect door knockers.

Although she appears to actually be looking at door handles in the pictures.

Gordon chides Allen:

Take some advice from me Lily – consider buying some less revealing tops to cover up your own...

Although, since the photo of her in the hardware store shows she's wearing a sweater, it's hard to see what he means.

Still, buried on the page, Gordon does have a good story - Keith Duffy's put the Boyzone comeback at risk, because he's got blood poisoning. He was having a tattoo when he picked up the disease. His life is really turning into a bad episode of My Family.