With Amy Winehouse still in hospital, and still no word on what's wrong with her, a vacuum has opened up, sucking in speculation. And when speculation gets sucky, we turn to Gordon Smart. He's spoken to a source - no, really, a real source, although apparently one under such deep cover he can't even hint if the quote is meant to be coming from someone medical, a "pal" or simply the chap who comes in to sanitize the Wapping phones and keyboards. It's drugs, you see:
Gordon, love: eventually all of us will fall over and not get up again. Has nobody mentioned the crushing, frightening, painful inevitability of death to you?
But even then, she'll be vulnerable if anyone cuts her head off. That's the problem with immortality.
There is, of course, a pal on hand too:
"She needs to get away from temptations."
A source close to the Temptations - touring the UK this October and November - strongly denied being responsible for Winehouse's illness.
Elsewhere, we actually enjoyed the interview with Robbie William's beard, which he has now dropped. It's quite an amusing piece - whoever thought that Gordon would have a talent for making up quotes from sources he couldn't ever have spoken to?