Gordon in the morning: How close we came to losing an national icon

Terror At Zero Feet meets Spiceworld: The Movie, as Victoria Beckham's plane sucks a bird into the engines at take-off. It's the sort of light non-story which Gordon actually does quite well:

It was then that the horrifying scale of the disaster really hit home for Victoria — she realised she was wearing standard-issue aircraft pyjamas and no make-up.

Thus, the drama is not about the pilot reacting quickly to a potential threat, but Victoria refusing to get off the plane until she's done her make-up.

Surely, though, it's too late - everyone now knows she gets into the free pjs in first class. And they let this woman judge Project Runway.

Meanwhile, the increasing number of people allegedly slapped by Amy Winehouse means there's every chance that the bloke who claims he was hit by her in a pub may be telling the truth, or perhaps just judged that there's every chance that he'll be believed.

In the interests of balance to the story, Gordon runs an unsourced quote from a pal:

But a pal of Amy’s insisted: "Someone behind her pinched her bottom and she reacted."

And yet there's no name to verify that statement, presumably because it's possible someone is explaining the plausible reason for a reaction that might never have happened.

Elsewhere, Smart runs what he claims are

Abbey & Peter's holiday snaps

Unlike many couples, they seem to have taken their photos from the other side of the beach with a very long lens.