Terror At Zero Feet meets Spiceworld: The Movie, as Victoria Beckham's plane sucks a bird into the engines at take-off. It's the sort of light non-story which Gordon actually does quite well:
Thus, the drama is not about the pilot reacting quickly to a potential threat, but Victoria refusing to get off the plane until she's done her make-up.
Surely, though, it's too late - everyone now knows she gets into the free pjs in first class. And they let this woman judge Project Runway.
Meanwhile, the increasing number of people allegedly slapped by Amy Winehouse means there's every chance that the bloke who claims he was hit by her in a pub may be telling the truth, or perhaps just judged that there's every chance that he'll be believed.
In the interests of balance to the story, Gordon runs an unsourced quote from a pal:
And yet there's no name to verify that statement, presumably because it's possible someone is explaining the plausible reason for a reaction that might never have happened.
Elsewhere, Smart runs what he claims are
Unlike many couples, they seem to have taken their photos from the other side of the beach with a very long lens.