Friday, July 25, 2008

Gordon in the morning: Surrender accepted

Michael Eavis' pledge of "no more Jay-Zs" is pounced on by Gordon this morning who decides he's been proved right:

The dairy farmer and festival organiser has finally waved his white flag by admitting that he had 99 Problems at this year’s festival — and hip-hop was the main one.

Eavis announced that Glastonbury will return to “traditional” headliners next year.

Eureka. I rest my case.

For months I said putting JAY-Z in the top slot didn’t fit with Glasto — and now Eavis finally seems to have accepted the experiment failed.

So, Glastonbury was a terrible flop this year, was it, Gordon?
It was excellent, I’ll give this year’s Glasto that. All the Bizarre team and plenty of readers agree.

So... erm, it had 99 problems, but everyone says it was excellent? How does that work?

So, what would Gordon's solution be? Here's a surprise:
It would be a masterstroke to turn the tables on NOEL GALLAGHER — following his blast over Jay-Z as headliner — and offer him the chance to show how it should be done by giving OASIS the slot next summer.

"How it should be done"? Oh, happy world where the choice is between Jay-Z and Noel Gallagher.


4 comments:

Olive said...

What is it with Gordon Smart and Noel bloody Gallagher? Nearly everything Smart does or writes ends up containing a reference to the monobrowed half-wit. Were Gordon not so breathtakingly heterosexual, I'd say he'd got a bit of a crush on Noel. Go and have a look at his Myspace page- 80% of it is pictures or quotes from Noel Gallagher!

Anonymous said...

yep, totally agree. there is a certain repressed nature to his relationship with noely, it seems. i loved oasis back in the day, but the fact GS still thinks they are worthy of headlining major festivals to 'show everybody how it should be done' is baffling. noel must be chuffed that he can do no wrong in the eyes of the sun though, i guess.

Anonymous said...

"It would be a masterstroke..." a what? The scheduling of a schedule would be a what? Would the scheduling of Oasis be (to use the dictionary definition) "an achievement or action revealing consummate skill or mastery" or would it be the ultimate statement of a lack of imagination or nerve?

I'm still confused as to what exactly the problem was in the first place. Replacing one pop act with another is hardly as daring as say putting some avant-garde act on as headliner

WE ARE said...

And why does GS keep refering to the event as 'Glasto' like it's some secret code you're given when you attend?

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