Gordon Smart is shocked today. Shocked. It turns out that people in showbusiness lie:
POP babe ANASTACIA has lied about her age for a decade, she confessed yesterday.
Poor Gordon must be startled. People making things up? It's hard to believe, isn't it?
It turns out that Anastacia is actually sixty-three.
Alright, not really. This making things up malarkey is clearly catching. She shaved four years off her age, which doesn't reflect incredibly well on her, but is hardly the greatest lie of all time. Gordon tries to work up some outrage:
She even kept up the fib when she fell ill with breast cancer at 35, claiming to be 31 — to give hope to other young sufferers.
This seems a little unfair - it's not like if you have breast cancer at 35 it's not cruelly young, is it? And it's a bit unfair to suggest she lied in order to "give hope" to younger cancer sufferers; she was already fibbing when she was diagnosed and, you'd guess, if you've just been told you've got cancer your first priority might not be correcting having shaved a few years off your CV.
Still, 'female entertainer lies a little about her age' is a massive story compared with one of Gordon's other scoops this morning:
ROCK giants REM went on stage hours after cops pulled a man’s body from the river outside their Manchester hotel yesterday.
Goodness - 'something unconnected happens near pop group; gig not cancelled'. It's a wonder Rebekah Wade wasn't breaking out the 75 point type.