Geri Halliwell: Auteur

You know what the movie world needs? How about Geri Halliwell: Producer?

She's keen to bring her unlovable children's books to the screen and has set her sights high for casting:

“I have not met Brad Pitt so realistically he’s unlikely to take part but I am desperate to get the gorgeous George on board.

“I’ve got an actor character called Bradley Litt and a Dr. Clooney who delivers Ugenia’s baby sister in a store called Garrods. Hmm, I wonder who and what these could be based on?!”

Goodness... now you mention it, Geri... I'd not spotted the deftly disguised characters and places in your book, until you pointed them out. Doctor Clooney - of course! And Garrods - clearly, that must be the Army and Navy store, right?

But there's more:

“Crazy Trevor, Ugenia’s friend in the series, reminds me a lot of Wayne Rooney in both looks and personality.

“I am really hopeful he will agree to voice the part. I get the impression he’d be up for doing it just for fun.”

Yes. For fun. You take care of the money-making; everyone else will be in it for fun.

Geri added: “George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Wayne Rooney – how’s that for an A-list line-up?!”

Except none of them have agreed, have they? You might as well invite Fred Astaire to play a character called Fed Astare and stick his name on the proposal for all the basing in reality your plans have. Or, better yet, just put the idea back in the drawer, close the drawer, and set fire to the desk.

[Thanks to Michael M]